I am highly aware that I have not posted anything for a very long time. I occasionally think about my being "quiet". I have wondered whether or not my interest in reaching out has waned. Maybe it is time to take down the website. Still, I left the website intact and turned back to my solitude. Where did my excitement and passion disappear? Why have things come to an apparent standstill? Was the past year just a "phase" I was going through?
Now I believe I have some answers. As I have been progressing down my Spiritual path, I have been aware of going deeper and deeper within. The direction of my path, as defined by my Spiritual teachers, is inward and upward, and I find myself definitely being pulled in that direction. I have been taught that the means to this end is to focus on "God first, God only"; practice love, acceptance, and forgiveness; and to release all attachment to the outcome of events or situations. I work toward this mainly through my practice of meditating on the Names of God.
Now, I have been an introvert all my life - or at least as far back as I can remember - so going within is a no-brainer for me. While going within prior to initiation on my Spiritual path, my mind would take over and most times I became overwhelmed by thoughts. This was not conducive to feeling connected to Spirit. Meditation is a means to short-circuit the over thinking process. I am able to stop my mind, listen for the sound of God, and watch for the light of God.
As I progress along the path, I am finding myself more and more in the state of detachment I have mentioned in a prior post. Of the many definitions I can find for this word, the one that fits closest is "aloofness, as from worldly affairs or from the concerns of others". The word "aloof" does not quite fit, though, for rather than feeling disinterested or apart, I have grown into the role of bearing witness to events and people surrounding me. By bearing witness, I can be present to things and people around me without having to take the issues on as my own. I also notice that I am bearing witness to my life without becoming too emotionally involved in it. I find this very liberating!
Our minds and our emotions tend to rule us and for me, they are the reason I stray off the Spiritual path. When I find myself caught up in thoughts I know this is a sign that I am not maintaining my focus on God. When my emotions are triggered, I know an area of my life in need of healing has been exposed. And when I am in a state of detachment, I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be - in connection with all that is, the great I AM. And all is good.
Namaste!
