I have been spending a lot of time witnessing my own process. Witnessing the split between my higher, spiritual, totally connected to God self and my human self. There is so much that I know and understand about the unification yet I find myself falling into the trap of not believing in that knowing.
My Human Self wants to remain the same – small, inconspicuous, and living in duality. So, each time I work toward my goal of living in the place where I know (and am) God, my Human self jumps in to interfere. Not a very comfortable place to live at all! So, I have been witnessing, watching, and evaluating. What I have come to is the knowledge that I have core beliefs about my human self that are embedded in me at a cellular level. When I attain my God Self, this doesn’t really matter at all, but my Human Self, seems to want to be in control and is threatened by the potential loss of itself, so it frequently rears its head.
When my Human Self tries to be in control, I am prone to enter the realm of feelings and begin to judge myself. This leads to fear and getting caught in the realm of the mind. I tend to lose sight of the place where God and I are one – or my God Self. Each time I cycle through this, however, my understanding becomes clearer and I get closer and closer to the place of unification. Oh, how I long for the time when I don’t have to go through these cycles anymore!
What I have received this time around is the key to the knowledge of how to deal with these cellular memories. As always, it is very simple. I fill those cells with the Light of God, which is much more powerful than the Human self memories. When I see the Light of God in each of my cells I feel the Love of God within me. This is a feeling very difficult to describe but suffice it to say that it is wonderful. Having attained this state led to an extremely powerful dream – or maybe it was a vision or life review:
The dream began in a prison, and I was a prisoner. After an unspecified amount of time I went with a group to a larger prison. Somehow, I was separated from the group and the leader or warden. There were one or two other prisoners with me and as we were roaming around we were eventually told where the rest of the group had gone – upstairs. When I rejoined the larger group, the leader was berating me however I pointed out to him that I was never told the plan or where we were going.
As I woke up, I realized this represented my Human life. I spent many years in my Human Self prison without a map or guidance. Going upstairs meant finding my way yet still being judged. Speaking up to the leader was my way of empowering myself into the Light-filled cell level of existence. This of course is very fresh right now but my goal, as we head toward the time of Ascent, is to embrace this new Light-filled existence and anchor it in such a way that I am able to hang onto it and spend the majority of this existence here.
Namaste.
