If Time/Space Existed, It Would Be A Long Time....

Apparently, I haven't been blogging for quite a while. When I logged into this blog, my first thought was - "it's really been a long time", and yes, that is true. But only when we believe that time and space as known in the third dimension truly exists.

So, in actuality, I logged in to blog just at the right time. Yes, I guess I still have an attachment to that word...

My life, both physical and spiritual, have been very active. Learning lots of lessons. Spirit called me to leave Colorado Springs and move closer to both my Spiritual and biological families. I chose to settle in Fort Wayne in order to be more connected to the spiritual family but am within reasonable distance from the biological family as well. So far, so good.

I am getting the message that the blog has been quiet because I have been in a much more inward place - meditating, going inward and upward as I am urged by my Spiritual teachers. The more I do this, the less I want to be in the world. Which is nice. Except....

Except, I find myself now at a place of wrestling with the Inner Truth of why I am here. And, it is not easy. Of course, why would it be easy? That would defeat the purpose. We come into our lives to accomplish the purpose set out for our by our Souls and that is pretty deep, intense stuff. So, naturally, it isn't going to be easy.

As I wrestle with this now, I am reviewing my life. Seeing the pattern that repeats and repeats and repeats. It isn't fun. It isn't pretty. Life isn't for cowards. My intention is to be heal this and not have to repeat it anymore, ever again.

Now, back to time and space...At the core, I am learning that the struggles we deal with are illusions of time and space and being incarnated in a physical being. Without time and space, we are able to connect to the essence of our beings, with our Divine Sparks, and witness the struggle, release the attachment to it, and live in God's Loving. And, in this life, my intention is to be there.

Namaste!

A Last Thought for 2010

I have been spending a lot of time witnessing my own process. Witnessing the split between my higher, spiritual, totally connected to God self and my human self. There is so much that I know and understand about the unification yet I find myself falling into the trap of not believing in that knowing.

My Human Self wants to remain the same – small, inconspicuous, and living in duality. So, each time I work toward my goal of living in the place where I know (and am) God, my Human self jumps in to interfere. Not a very comfortable place to live at all! So, I have been witnessing, watching, and evaluating. What I have come to is the knowledge that I have core beliefs about my human self that are embedded in me at a cellular level. When I attain my God Self, this doesn’t really matter at all, but my Human Self, seems to want to be in control and is threatened by the potential loss of itself, so it frequently rears its head.

When my Human Self tries to be in control, I am prone to enter the realm of feelings and begin to judge myself. This leads to fear and getting caught in the realm of the mind. I tend to lose sight of the place where God and I are one – or my God Self. Each time I cycle through this, however, my understanding becomes clearer and I get closer and closer to the place of unification. Oh, how I long for the time when I don’t have to go through these cycles anymore!

What I have received this time around is the key to the knowledge of how to deal with these cellular memories. As always, it is very simple. I fill those cells with the Light of God, which is much more powerful than the Human self memories. When I see the Light of God in each of my cells I feel the Love of God within me. This is a feeling very difficult to describe but suffice it to say that it is wonderful. Having attained this state led to an extremely powerful dream – or maybe it was a vision or life review:

The dream began in a prison, and I was a prisoner. After an unspecified amount of time I went with a group to a larger prison. Somehow, I was separated from the group and the leader or warden. There were one or two other prisoners with me and as we were roaming around we were eventually told where the rest of the group had gone – upstairs. When I rejoined the larger group, the leader was berating me however I pointed out to him that I was never told the plan or where we were going.

As I woke up, I realized this represented my Human life. I spent many years in my Human Self prison without a map or guidance. Going upstairs meant finding my way yet still being judged. Speaking up to the leader was my way of empowering myself into the Light-filled cell level of existence. This of course is very fresh right now but my goal, as we head toward the time of Ascent, is to embrace this new Light-filled existence and anchor it in such a way that I am able to hang onto it and spend the majority of this existence here.

Namaste.

WE ARE ALL AVATARS

Several weeks ago I had to undergo a nuclear medicine scan as the final step in diagnosing a medical condition. For six weeks I was not allowed to take my thyroid medication and this left me tired, irritable, and generally not feeling well. On top of this, I am quite (maybe very is a better adjective) claustrophobic and was anxious about the possibility of being “pinned” under some big medical machine.

Rather than take tranquilizers, which was one option, I opted to meditate my way through this 2 hour 45 minute scan. When I first arrived at the local hospital for my scan, the first thing the technician asked me was whether or not I knew it was a long test. This was not the first time that fact had been mentioned, so I answered in the affirmative. As we started, she told me I was required to lie still for 2 hours. Perfectly still. Oy.

Being the obedient person that I am, I settled in as comfortably as possible and prepared myself to be still for that length of time. I soon realized that this was not a claustrophobia provoking set up but the machine was still pretty darn close to me. I began chanting the Names of God that were given me at my initiation onto the Path of Sound and Light. I chanted and chanted. After a while, I decided to call on my Spiritual Teachers to appear in their Radiant Forms. My spiritual path teaches that our teachers lead us back home to God. Sometimes they are visible as blue and purple light but they may also appear in their radiant forms. I interpret this to mean they look like their human forms but in a more translucent, astral version

Normally, when I meditate, I wait for the colored light. This may have been the first time I called on them to appear in Radiant Form. I found myself observing my Radiant Form rise up to meet with them. Together we all traveled to the place where Soul meets God. I found myself at the place where my Divine Spark met with Divinity. I have been to this place in the past and it is a very wonderful place to be.

While there, I found myself being shown two very important Truths. The first is that our Souls animate our bodies. As we are Spiritual Beings enjoying (or sometimes not so much enjoying) a Human Experience, it is our Spirit, or Soul, that gives or human bodies their life force. This reminded me of the movie, “Avatar”, that was such a hit last winter. In the movie, the humans animated the Avatars that were made in the image of the inhabitants of the planet “Pandora”. In the “truth” I was shown, the experience of soul animating human body was quite similar.

This realization led to the second Truth. After our bodies are gone, after our human experience is complete and we die, our essence in the form of Soul continues. We do not end. Death is not an ending to our existence. We, as Souls, continue on and nothing really changes at all for us – except for the fact that we are free from illusion of the limitations of being “human”.

Namaste!

Detachment

I am highly aware that I have not posted anything for a very long time. I occasionally think about my being "quiet". I have wondered whether or not my interest in reaching out has waned. Maybe it is time to take down the website. Still, I left the website intact and turned back to my solitude. Where did my excitement and passion disappear? Why have things come to an apparent standstill? Was the past year just a "phase" I was going through?

Now I believe I have some answers. As I have been progressing down my Spiritual path, I have been aware of going deeper and deeper within. The direction of my path, as defined by my Spiritual teachers, is inward and upward, and I find myself definitely being pulled in that direction. I have been taught that the means to this end is to focus on "God first, God only"; practice love, acceptance, and forgiveness; and to release all attachment to the outcome of events or situations. I work toward this mainly through my practice of meditating on the Names of God.

Now, I have been an introvert all my life - or at least as far back as I can remember - so going within is a no-brainer for me. While going within prior to initiation on my Spiritual path, my mind would take over and most times I became overwhelmed by thoughts. This was not conducive to feeling connected to Spirit. Meditation is a means to short-circuit the over thinking process. I am able to stop my mind, listen for the sound of God, and watch for the light of God.

As I progress along the path, I am finding myself more and more in the state of detachment I have mentioned in a prior post. Of the many definitions I can find for this word, the one that fits closest is "aloofness, as from worldly affairs or from the concerns of others". The word "aloof" does not quite fit, though, for rather than feeling disinterested or apart, I have grown into the role of bearing witness to events and people surrounding me. By bearing witness, I can be present to things and people around me without having to take the issues on as my own. I also notice that I am bearing witness to my life without becoming too emotionally involved in it. I find this very liberating!

Our minds and our emotions tend to rule us and for me, they are the reason I stray off the Spiritual path. When I find myself caught up in thoughts I know this is a sign that I am not maintaining my focus on God. When my emotions are triggered, I know an area of my life in need of healing has been exposed. And when I am in a state of detachment, I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be - in connection with all that is, the great I AM. And all is good.

Namaste!