Conflicted About The Conflict

The weeks since October 7th have been quite trying for me - both in the external world and my inner world. This is the day the world turned upside down for me and for many of my people. I am Jewish - 100% ethnically Jewish. I have a lot of immediate family living in Israel thanks to my brother who made Aliyah in 1983, married, and had 9 children. Most of these nephews and nieces are married and have children of their own so I can say I have more immediate family in Israel then in the United States.

I do not practice the religion and I am an initiate on a spiritual path - a Path of Sound and Light. The main precepts of this path are Love, Acceptance, and Forgiveness (of self and others). I am generally able to stick to the path, or return to it quickly if I notice I have strayed from these precepts but something shifted for me after the atrocities of October 7, 2023 and I find myself struggling.

My spiritual essence and my human self have not been in alignment. I have trouble loving, accepting, and forgiving a people who want my people to be wiped from the face of the earth. I have trouble empathizing and feeling horrible for the innocent Palestinians caught up in this war because their leadership uses them as pawns and shields. I justify this (to myself) because I have 8 nephews serving in the IDF and my niece in Tel Aviv hears sirens and has to worry about her safety. I justify this to myself because I am constantly worried about the large number of nieces, great nieces, great nephews, brother and sister-in-law scattered about Jerusalem and other towns that are under fire by rockets. I worry that this might be the beginning of World War III when I hear about Iranian, Syrian, Lebanese, and US involvement.

I have trouble recognizing this aspect of my human self. I do not feel as though I am fulfilling my soul’s intention of living in the Loving and the Light of God. I need to do better so that I can bring my physical (human) self into alignment with my Spiritual self and live the life I am meant to live - as a Spark of the Divine.

For this, I set my intention to focus on the Light and being an instrument of the Loving and the Light of God. For this, I get down on my knees and pray to the Holy One to show me the way. Namaste!