Never Mind

I have recently been struggling with the concept of "mind". On my meditation path, the mind is considered one of the realms that must be navigated in order to reach the soul level and beyond. Returning to Soul is returning home to God and our God-self, which is the ultimate goal for the person who ascribes to the belief that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.

Based on my own personal experience, as well as conversations with friends, I am learning that the mind tends to create obstacles to the process of returning to soul. It is a "trickster". In an effort to remain in control, the mind does everything in its power to keep us in the third dimension by throwing us into our emotions and by asking us to come up with explanations for everything that is happening in us, to us, around us, and through us. Both emotions and explanations cause us to focus on the lower realms. We tend to become attached to the need to know what is going on and why we feel the way we do. This becomes distracting noise that throws us off track.

So, what can we do to move beyond this? Although it is not an easy task, I believe we serve ourselves best by learning to detach from our feelings and our need to have an explanation for everything. One means to accomplish this is to turn everything over to God. Anything that is not of God is, after all, an illusion. Our human lives are merely temporary - Spirit's vehicle for manifesting a human experience. As we move toward ascension to the fifth dimension, we no longer need to focus on the human experience because we are moving back to Spirit and God. As we move toward the new paradigm, we learn to recognize our emotions as pointers to the holes in our soul that are in need of repair. Once we enter the new paradigm, we realize there is nothing at all that we need - we are complete in God and no longer are slaves to our mind and feelings. We can truly say, "never mind".

Namaste!

I AM THAT, I AM

I recently watched The Moses Code DVD. This was the second viewing and I found that I resonated quite well with it. For those of you that are unfamiliar with The Moses Code, the message is quite simple. God appeared to Moses in the form of a burning bush. Moses asked who was speaking to him. The answer - "I Am That I AM." The Moses Code emphasizes that the answer was truly, "I Am That, I Am". The comma being the missing "code" that changes the meaning from being the name of God to a statement that we are all One.

I am not certain I got that the first time, maybe I wasn't paying attention. But as I have been cementing myself more firmly into my God-hood or God-ness, I am finding myself resonating with this idea much more. After all, I believe in the oneness of everything and that we are all Sparks of the Divine so the "I Am That, I Am" statement makes sense to me. And since it makes sense, I have decided to take it on as a part of who I am. Or should I say, who I AM.

Even as I write this, I realize that the I AM consciousness is nothing really new and I have been living it for quite a while already. This confirms for me my belief that we know everything we need to know and our task is to remember. Maybe that is the reason I felt such a strong resonance with the message of "The Moses Code". I was being reminded of that which I already knew but perhaps let slip out of my consciousness for a while.

Things can become slippery when we lose sight of our connection to the Oneness of God. We become caught up in our emotions and our dualities and tend to forget our Divinity. We connect with our "stuff" and become caught up in fear. Then we lose sight of the most important knowing of all - the Loving of God. So, why do things get so slippery? Why are we unable to hold onto that oneness with God? Why is it so difficult to remain in that consciousness? I ask myself these questions repeatedly. I feel so wonderful when I am experiencing the Loving and the Light of God, yet I still spend more time seeking than experiencing.

The best answer that I am able to manifest is that I am still caught up in my "human experience". Yes, I am a very spiriutal being but I am also a human being. Thankfully, I am a human being very much into the process of awakening into my God-ness, so the lessons come a bit quicker these days. I am capable of seeing how my emotions and fears and experiences of the third dimension (also known as my "stuff") are manifesting to show me how to clear out old patterns and reach ever more toward the place in which God and I co-exist. This is the place where God and I meet and where I can truly see that I AM THAT, I AM!

Namaste!

Going Within

I feel as though I have been very quiet lately in the spiritual sense. Almost too quiet. I believe this is a function of having been too much in the world. It seems as though I have had to try on the "worldly" persona one more time in order to realize once and for all that it does not feel comfortable at all. And I realize now that this persona probably has never been comfortable. No wonder I have never quite felt as though I "fit in" anywhere.

As I see signs in my life that being too much in the world upsets my equilibrium, I find myself trying to find solutions toward restoring balance to my life. My solution has been to go inward and upward toward God - to remember that the most important thing in my world is my connection with God. More and more I am finding that place to be my comfort zone. When I go within, I can feel God's presence in my being and that feeling is wonderful. In that place, I can release myself from the place where I judge myself and try to figure things out and find reasons for everything. I can understand that nothing other than God is real and that everything real comes from God and God's Loving.

Now I understand that the reason my equilibrium has been off is that I have been feeling pulled more into the third dimension - the dimension of emotions, duality, and worldliness. This dimension no longer fits me. It is totally uncomfortable. I am connecting more and more with the fifth dimension, which is the place of IAM, unification, and oneness with God. I am feeling very strongly pulled to leave the third behind. The next challenge is to determine how to gracefully create a bridge for myself in order to attain the connection with the fifth dimension I am feeling so called to fully enter.

As I ask this question, the answer being given to me is "go within". By going within, the importance of the third dimensional, outer world, seems to fade significantly. From this place, I feel my connection to God and let everything else dissolve. I feel the Love of God, the Peace of God, and the Essence of God. And it feels wonderful!

Namaste!

A Challenge to Find Spiritual Truth

Well a funny thing happened in my life. I am not certain what to make of it. Neither am I certain what to do with it. So right now I am just sitting with it. On March 23, I began a program called Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) with a local hospital. This can lead to certification as a chaplain, pastoral counselor, or even psychotherapist should I finish all the requirements for four units (eight for certification in psychotherapy). I started the application process late November and was accepted the end of December. This has certainly put a crimp in my free flowing lifestyle. I now have structure and stress in my life.

In my usual manner, I just plunged forward without much planning and a knowing that starting this program would be the end of my unstructured life. I seem to spend my life following "callings" and then react to the feelings that come up around my actions. I guess it might not be the best way to do things but this is definitely "my way". Now I am two weeks into the program and dealing with a lot of human "stuff" - my human "stuff" - that is coming up around my current experience. I am seeing that there are many layers to this!

The outermost layer is that of emotion. I am dealing with fear of being "incompetent" at this, fear of failure. Well, then, if the duality in my worldview is that of fear or love, I work very hard on countering my fear with connecting with the Loving of God. This does help but it is sometimes difficult for me to hold onto when I am in the thick of things. First, there is no formal training or even guidelines as to what direct ministry in the hospital is supposed to look like. Then, the various chaplains naturally all have their own distinct personalities and ways of doing things and I have received a few mixed messages about what I am supposed to do and where.

The third major hands on thing that has been creating fear for me is the fact that I had to immediately choose one night per week to be "on call". The issuses that come up for me around being on call and responsible, again with not much guidance or training but a few instructions that I have no frame of reference for, is probably the biggest hurdle for me right now. It might even be the one that seems like a "deal breaker". This issue in itself has a few layers - in addition to the competence vs. fear of being incompetent piece, I also have touched on issues of whether or not I have the energy to be woken up possibly in the middle of the night, deal with a spiritual crisis, go home, then possibly get called again. Thank goodness for back up chaplains!

Once I am able to shift into the place of God's Loving and deal with my fears, I find there are practical issues that are arising. The biggest one is how to fit in the clinical requirements and fulfill my learning contract which is to learn about three fundamental faiths. I agreed to attend services, meet with religious leaders, read about the three faiths, and write a three to five page paper. This is a full time "job" and I have been living the life of a retired person since December 2007. I miss my freedom and flexible life.

As I have been looking beyond the issues on the outer layer, I have been connecting with some of the deeper issues. For the past several months, I have been aware of my longing to not be "in the world". Ever since the veil between my human self and my spiritual self was shattered last summer, I find myself drawn much more inward and upward as opposed to outward. This path I am walking right now is forcing me back out into the world. I want to be inside, communing with Spirit and because I am being drawn away from that place, my Spiritual equilibrium seems to be seriously affected. It feels as though the ground is being moved out from under my feet. I am losing the balance I have enjoyed so much being able to know God and be in God's presence.

Now, I know that God has not gone anywhere. I also know the veil has not reformed or reconfigured itself and separated me from my spiritual self. That is an illusion. Just as my fear in the more superficial aspect of this conundrum is an illusion. God is constant. My connection to God is static. In this all there is a spiritual lesson to be learned and a spiritual truth to be discerned. My challenge is not really anything about CPE training. My challenge is about defining my Spiritual Truth.

Namaste!